All of a sudden I realize what I have always known! Why is it so difficult to implement something? I have been wanting to get organized, but it has remained a want, only.
Let me make a list here so that I can keep tab, on me :
1. Clean My Room [ not that it isn't clean now, its just not clean
as I want it to be]
2. Wake up early [ I have been trying really hard ]
3. Start keeping tab of my daily activities [ money spent, food had etc. ]
4. De-clutter my mind so that I can work towards my next goals
5. Put the Organizer Kev gave me to better use.
6. Affirmations! [ an aid - which helps ]
And many more, which will be added as and when the posts get posted.
I saw some houses, to live in. None as nice as the first one! I hope I get to live there, then I'll get my mode of transport also! Life is getting weirder. Remember I said, I am unable to have a decent conversation with anyone; well, I am able, its just that I am finding it difficult to have a "decent" conversation. My mind is filled with ungodly things - which again can be helped only by de-cluttering it.
Like I mentioned in the beginning of this post, I know what I am supposed to be doing; the only unanswered question remains : WHY am I not doing it? and I am doing things which I am not supposed to do. For instance, conversations with certain people can be avoided late at night. Why?
Why don't they understand? I want everyone to be happy. I would do anything, go any lengths, against my own will, if need be, to make someone happy. But then why do I find myself to be helpless, when the solution is in my reach? Is wanting something wrong?
Goodness, this post has so much negativity, and that is so not me! I think I need a place to vent out these emotions, and how much ever correct, this blog seems to be, I shouldn't be doing it!
I love the small things in life! I love looking at the smile the watchman gives you, when you say "good morning" to him, the look the maid gives you, when you buy chocolates for her kids, the reaction you get from a friend when you tell them you missed them, asking a friend for a hug and actually getting it!!, water being exactly as hot / warm as you want it - like it secretly knows all about you - ;-), the plants in the garden just after it has rained, your mom's voice and excitement when she watches the song on TV which you've made her dance to, getting a SMS from a unknown number -who's actually just a friend who's checking on you - if you still remember how to flirt ;-) , the smell of the ground when it rains, the look your dog gives you when you come home after a long day @ work and many many other small things.
They remind me of learning to be happy, even if it is for a small time. I just remembered to add something to my to do list :
7. Stop talking non-sense, and actually think before saying something.
8. Keep a reminder check, as to what has to be said to whom.
I don't know if this blog has made any sense, I have been typing and words have been flowing. I have been reading many blogs, and I am in love with a certain Love story project, by a fellow popular blogger, which I shall talk about, hopefully, in my next post!
I also love watching the halogen balloons being left in the sky, the heart shape , the stars in the sky and also *sheepish grin* talking to the moonlight! :P
I want to dance, badly!!! So, I am playing music rite now and.... Dhan te Nan........*dancing* :D See you, when I see you!